Izzy: Greetings all you Ally Cats and Street Walkers.
Elsa: IZZY! Not nice!
Izzy: Why? What’s wrong with what I said?
Elsa: Ally Cats?
Izzy: You don’t like cats?
Elsa: Of course I do? Street walkers?
Izzy: Do you or do you not walk down streets?
Elsa: Of course, but… You absolutely have no idea what you are talking about.
Izzy: And haven’t you ever seen a cat in an ally before? I mean, if you are walking the streets, you must have seen one or two in ALL of your MANY,MANY years.
Elsa: I don’t have THAT many years under my belt.
Izzy: If those aren’t years under your belt, it must be lots of cheese pizza and cake.
Elsa: Do you TRY to be offensive?
Izzy: Sometimes, but mostly it’s just a gift I possess.
Elsa: Did it come with a gift receipt because I’d like to return it.
Izzy: Oh, ha ha. You’re so freakin’ serious all the time.
Elsa: There IS a time and place for everything. I just have never been able to find a proper TIME or PLACE for you. Try as I might.
Izzy: Well, isn’t she just looking so proper and sophisticated.
Elsa: I ADORE this plaid scarf and the hint of plaid in the bow. Doesn’t she look so amazing?
Izzy: Love the glasses too. Glasses are such a fun accessory because they add a dash of mystery and make you look like a movie star. Plus, bonus, because you can totally hide hangover eyes AND guard against all those bright lights. Practical and sophisticated.
Elsa: You definitely sound as if you speak from a place of experience.
Izzy: I am a good resource for all things hangover.
Elsa: I’m not surprised. But I am surprised at how well groomed Chanel looks… and with a name like that you better be well-groomed.
Izzy: It’s kind of weird that you always comment on how well groomed our guests are…. Not gonna lie. It kinda freaks me out.
Elsa: I just appreciate it when I see a nicely groomed look. It is something simple that EVERYONE can easily do to look better. It doesn’t take that much extra time or effort to brush your hair or give it a trim now an then, but it makes a world of difference.
Elsa: That’s a lion’s noise. Does this look like a lion to you?
Izzy: I’m making the noise, stupid. I am a lioness on the prowl……. raaaaaawwwwwwrrrr
Elsa: Well, he certainly is attractive and well dressed… and might I say, well-groomed.
Izzy: You might say that but you might also get made fun of…
Elsa: Well, I love the hint of orange in his collar and the plaid in his jacket. That also has an orange hue to it. He looks perfect.
Izzy: It’s all about the plaid today. Plaid here and plaid there… I see plaid everywhere! Hey… I made a rhyme. I’m soooo a poet.
Elsa: Okay then.
Izzy: I like this outfit. That’s all I gotta say about dat.
Elsa: Annnnd there goes the poet…..
Izzy: Ohhhhhhh……….Someone here has better fashion sense than his sister….
Elsa: Shut up
Izzy: Someone here is a badass and a half!
Elsa; That’s enough out of you.
Izzy: What? Can’t take a little competition from your little brother?
Elsa: He has fashion sense… yes. But the reason he has fashion sense is BECAUSE of me.
Izzy: Well, if that makes you feel better…
Elsa: We are here to talk about fashion…not my little brother, so let’s get on with it.
Izzy: But your little brother IS fashion. I mean…look at that outfit. It’s HAWT!
Elsa: And do you know who picked it out for him?
Izzy: The fashion fairy?
Elsa: Certainly not, moron. It was me. I picked it out for him.
Izzy: Oh, so you are no longer a fashion maven but merely a handmaiden helping your brother get dressed.
Elsa: Whatever… You know what I mean.
Izzy: Well this tiger print sweater from @rororiri_official is amazing.
Elsa: Thank you.
Izzy: I have an idea….
Elsa: I bet I won’t like this.
Izzy: Oh, I don’t know… It would mean you would have a nice vacation.
Elsa: I like vacation.
Izzy: And you could get a tan on that PALE butt of yours.
Elsa: Well, I like tans… not insults… but still.. okay.. let’s hear your idea.
Izzy: I think your old white butt should retire and you should turn the fashion keys over to Jude.
Elsa: Number one… I’m not old. Two, I have no intentions of retiring any sooner than you … and three…. What the heck are fashion keys?
Izzy: Well, I bet Jude knows what fashion keys are….
Elsa: Oh, sheesh.
Izzy: Did you pick out this next outfit too?
Elsa: I did NOT pick-out that outfit.
Izzy: Oh, it looks like something you’d like… sequins… pearls…
Elsa: I like sequins when its done in a subdued way.
Izzy: You love pearls too.
Elsa: But not on the face!
Izzy: So, here’s my theory. She’s out drinking and heads home. She tries to undress. She tries to take her dress off first by pulling it down to her feet but it gets stuck half way down. Then she decides to take off the necklace but since her arms are stuck in the dress all she can manage to do is to get the necklace up to her face. Then she gets tired and gives up. Picture snapped. Picture posted. Drunk undressing forever on the internet.
Elsa: Well, I don’t think you’re wrong. That is a very possible explanation. It’s an unusual look for sure.
Izzy: Shall we go and see if we can make our own drunk undressing photos?
Izzy: You don’t like any of my ideas. I bet Jude would like my ideas.
Elsa: Jude is too young to drink and I very much doubt he would like your ideas.
Izzy: I guess we’ll see when he is co-hosting the show with me…
Elsa: It’s time to go. Stay fabulous, Fashionistas.
Izzy: Yes, Jude also wants you to stay fabulous.