Izzy: Greetings all you Boxers and Briefs.
Elsa: It would be really nice to have a greeting that was free of anatomical or scatological references.
Izzy: I did not mention any part of the body or any secretions there-of.
Elsa: Fair enough. It would be really nice to have a greeting that was free of underwear references and other things not usually acceptable in polite company.
Izzy: Polite company? Umm… where? Besides, it’s your dirty mind that went directly to mens’ underpants. How do you know I wasn’t talking about the late and great Muhammad Ali and a pile of legal briefs?
Elsa: Were you?
Izzy: No. But you didn’t know that.
Elsa: I took a wild guess based on.. oh, I don’t know… KNOWING YOU!
Izzy: So… which do you prefer? Boxers or briefs?
Elsa: I don’t think that is appropriate OR any of your business.
Izzy: Everything’s my business!!
Elsa: Yes, that’s what you think. By the way, you look AMAZING!!! Where did you get that awesome hoodie?
Izzy: It’s none of your business.
Elsa: Okay… I’m sorry I was short with you.
Izzy: You’re always short. It’s because of your stubby legs.
Elsa: Hey now… I was paying you a compliment. No reason to get snarky.
Izzy: YOU are a reason to get snarky.
Elsa: Fine. Don’t tell me where you got it. But this little interaction will influence me greatly when I’m shopping for your Christmas gift.
Izzy: Okay, whatever. I love Christmas presents. It’s the Thomas Burberry Monogram dog hoodie that is exclusively available to personalize with your name. Shop @burberry Instagram on Aug 17.
Elsa: Ohhhhhhh…. yippeee! I am putting that on my calendar.
Izzy: Moral dilemma…. Should I tell you that it’s only available for 24 hours only, or should I let you miss out???
Elsa: You just told me.
Izzy: Oh, crap!
Elsa: Now here is a gentleman who would know how to treat a lady and who would never reveal what type of underpants he is wearing.
Izzy: That’s because he isn’t wearing any. Besides… It’s Harry Potter. He could tell you and then instantly make you forget!!
Elsa: Just because he is wearing round framed black glasses does not mean that he IS the real Harry Potter.
Izzy: Are we sure about that?
Elsa: Am I sure? Yes, I am sure that round framed black glasses do not give you the powers of a wizard.
Izzy: He just wants you to THINK that way. You’re under his spell.
Elsa: I am a little under his spell… He looks so proper. He looks so handsome. He looks so like he should call me.
Izzy: You tramp.
Elsa: It’s okay for you to do it, right?
Izzy: I am a tramp too. It’s not a bad thing. Who wouldn’t be a tramp for him. He’s HAWT! I love the blue against his white fur.
Izzy: That is one attractive bumble bee!
Elsa: Not everything has to look like something else. Can’t you just appreciate an outfit without likening it to a bumble bee or a wizard.
Izzy: I don’t always liken outfits into a bumble bee, but when I do, it’s black stripes.
Elsa: I see a proper french lady when I see this photo.
Izzy: I see some badass glasses. I love the pops of color against the neutral stripes. So chic.
Elsa: And not chic like a bumble bee?
Izzy: Ha. Freakin’ ha! Or she could be a very hip and chic prisoner.
Elsa: Again. Not everything HAS to look like something else. You’re just so impossible!!
Izzy: You’re taking everything so negative today!! I think she looks amazing!!! And it was a joke. Most prisoners wear orange these days. Or so I hear. From a friend. Not personal experience.
Elsa: Let’s move on before you incriminate yourself or get us sued…
Izzy: Now that is a fine looking man!
Elsa: And what does he look like to you?
Izzy: A fine looking man. Aren’t you listening?
Elsa: He doesn’t look like a bumble bee or a wizard or anything else?
Izzy: You don’t listen very well. He looks awesome with those big ole broad shoulders and that rugged and chiseled face.
Elsa: You know why you think he is so handsome, don’t you?
Izzy: Because he is…
Elsa: Because he looks like you, dummy!
Izzy: Thank you? Except for the broad shoulders and dummy part….
Elsa: It’s not your shoulders that are broad. It’s your big old butt.
Izzy: I do declare, Miss Prissy has fallen off that pedestal of hers to use the word “butt.”
Elsa: Keep this up and you’ll hear me use a whole lot of new words.
Izzy: Oh… a challenge. I love a challenge. So, do you think that Frankie wears boxers or briefs?
Elsa: I think he is a boxers man. You?
Izzy: I think he goes commando! But I’ll let you know tomorrow morning… if you know what I mean…
Elsa: Even our five year old viewers “know what you mean.”
Izzy: Oh, and I should probably mention his fashion sense. It’s good.
Elsa: What a profound analysis of his fashion choices… from a fashion expert… on a fashion related show. I’m glad you thought it was “good.”
Izzy: Nobody is looking at the fashion, Elsa. Not when a guy looks like that…
Izzy: Exactly. Do you suppose he’s a plumber?
Elsa: Ummmm… or maybe he just lost a lot of weight recently?
Izzy: At least we don’t have to ponder the boxer or brief question…
Elsa: Is this even legal?
Izzy: It does sort of dip into the world of dog porn… again, not that I know from personal experience.
Elsa: Another friend told you about it?
Izzy: Right. I have a lot of friends.
Elsa: This is a good fashion lesson. Always try to make sure that your clothes fit properly. That is one of the first lessons you should learn.
Izzy: Maybe he likes his pants like that?
Izzy: Ease of access??
Elsa: Eww… back to my request for less scatological references…
Izzy: You just learned that word, didn’t you?
Elsa: His pant cuffs are rolled-up, which leads me to believe that perhaps he already knew that his pants didn’t fit.
Izzy: The pants rolled-up? That’s your first clue that his pants don’t fit? That’s the first thing you noticed?
Elsa: No, but it indicates that he was probably anticipating that the pants wouldn’t fit and therefore he rolled-up… why am I even explaining this to you?????
Izzy: Because you want to verbally BOX with me, but then you decided to keep it BRIEF????? Like that???? Funny, right? Or isn’t that funny from your “scatological” point of view?
Elsa: If you don’t know what the word means you shouldn’t use it.
Izzy: Never stopped you before, idiot.
Elsa: Stick to words you know, please.
Izzy: OK, well “Stay fabulous, Fashionistas?”