Izzy: Greetings all you Chips and Dips!
Elsa: I don’t think any of our viewers are dips, Izzy.
Izzy: I happen to like dips… French onion being at the top of the list.
Elsa: Everything French is at the top of my list. Oui, Oui
Izzy: You’ve turned into such an international bitch since we’ve been friends. I’m so proud of you.
Elsa: Well, thank you? I have spoken French most of my life and I love to travel, so I suppose I do qualify as “international”
Izzy: That’s not why I’m proud. I think that after all this time of hanging out together, you are finally a bitch.
Elsa: That’s quite possible a nice compliment. But I am not really… what you said.
Izzy: Not as good as I am… but still…
Elsa: Would a bitch bring you this look?
Izzy: Yeah! You said it.
Izzy: What a handsome Dracula inspired look.
Elsa: And now, not only are you offending our viewers, but you are going after our guests?
Izzy: Dracula isn’t a put down, dear. I happen to like a little neck nibble.
Elsa: The only correlation between Dracula and this look is the popped-up collar.
Izzy: And the bow tie. And the fact that I want him to take a bite out me…. yes, sir.
Elsa: Actually, I know you mean no disrespect here, but this, I believe, is a tribute to the late and great, Karl Lagerfeld.
Izzy: This time you are right. For like, the first time ever in your life…. the first time in the history of the world. The first time during this show, of course, but for the entirety of existence.
Elsa: I think we get the idea you are trying to get across.
Izzy: I would never disrespect the likes of Karl Lagerfeld. You, I may disrespect you…
Elsa: You DO disrespect me on a regular basis.
Izzy: Let’s get back to the fashion, shall we?
Elsa: For once your tangent has a legit destination.
Izzy: I do love the bow tie and popped up collar for the silhouette, but I also love it for the cool shades of blue that he combines.
Elsa: He is quite fetching, isn’t he?
Izzy: I don’t think “fetching” is a compliment to a dog.
Elsa: He is quite enchanting?
Izzy: And if you ever want to put those fangs into a neck, I’m your girl.
Izzy: So, I’m a little sore about this next look.
Elsa: It’s a video! How exciting!!
Izzy: You really don’t get out much, do you?
Elsa: I “get out” a lot… I just happen to have a healthy appreciation for the fact that we are featuring a video. And a healthy appreciation for the finer things in life.
Izzy: Well, there isn’t much that is finer than a hawt Frenchie in a BMW.
Elsa: That’s what I’m talking about. So much of this is fabulous… the car, the Frenchie and the dress.
Izzy: One terribly dreadful mistake though.
Elsa: I can’t imagine what. That car! The hair is in place. The glasses are on fleek. The look is perfection… and the car… and don’t get me started on that dress. And I did I mention the BMW?
Izzy: You did mention the BMW. Numerous times. And that is the problem. You are rubbing in the fact that this snarky bitch has a BMW.
Elsa: I’ve seen you run around in quite a few nice vehicles.
Izzy: I have a fairly nice collection, I will admit. And the dress…
Elsa: Back bling!!
Izzy: I love back bling. It’s so much more attractive than back fat.
Elsa: You’re lucky enough to have both.
Izzy: Ouch… and you’re so thin.
Elsa: Thank you. I like to keep my weight down.
Izzy: Keep talking… I can’t find you… you’re so skinny.
Elsa: Ha. Freakin’. Ha.
Izzy: Isn’t she just the most prissy floozy ever?
Elsa: I suspect prissy floozy is a good thing?
Izzy: “Prissy floozy” is the new “uptight bitch.”
Elsa: I don’t think I’ll ever learn your language. Because I think that I, along with our lovely guest, may think that the term, “prissy floozy” might be… I don’t know… offensive.
Izzy: It’s not offensive. I’m saying that I love how uptight she looks. She looks almost as neurotic and tense as you.
Izzy: Thank you? The words you are looking for are “thank you.”
Izzy: You and I, girl, we need to get you to etiquette lessons.
Elsa: Yes, that is what we need most in this show. For me to learn some manners.
Izzy: Now that that is resolved.
Elsa: Yes, mystery of all that is wrong has been solved so we can concentrate on this lovely lady in front of us. You know, the guest. The fashion. The reason we are here.
Izzy: That may be why YOU are here, but I come for the doughnuts in the green room and the hawt camera man… Hey, Matt, hey!
Elsa: You and Matt can enjoy a doughnut while I, let me see, do a show and discuss this amazing outfit. The lavender fur vest would be fabulous on its own, but paired with this clean black shirt and her own snow white fur… it’s just exquisite.
Izzy: I like the bow.
Elsa: Thank you for your insightful contribution in-between bites. I hope that this little show of ours isn’t interfering with your eating schedule too much.
Izzy: Oh, it’s not. I eat between lines.
Elsa: As long as we aren’t putting you out too much…
Izzy: That little bitch stole my grandma’s crocheted blanket right off her sofa and made it into a charming hat.
Elsa: Your grandma has that blanket on her sofa?
Izzy: Ha! Ha! Ha! No. My grandma wouldn’t have a blanket like that.
Elsa: Crocheted items are very special.
Izzy: Special. That’s a word for it.
Elsa: I love a good home made item.
Izzy: I didn’t know you love homemade items so much. I make an amazing duct tape vest. I even do custom orders.
Elsa: Oh. How. Um.. Really?
Izzy: You were saying?
Elsa: I was saying … that I love a good homemade item. They are special. But this isn’t a prime example. The hat is quaint, but this ensemble is terrible.
Izzy: So, you’re saying the hat is fashionable, but the top is not.
Elsa: That’s not exactly what I’m saying.
Izzy: You’re saying that you would wear either of those items, just not together.
Elsa: Well, no.
Izzy: Sounds like you are all thumbs-up about this outfit.
Elsa: I’m just saying that hand-crafted items can be wonderful. They are made with love and given from the heart.
Izzy: But that don’t mean you gotta wear that love on your head. In public.
Elsa: Point taken.
Izzy: Matt and I got plans so I’m out.
Elsa; That was abrupt.
Izzy: Would you rather stay here and look at this utterly odious outfit a little longer?
Elsa: Stay fabulous, fashionistas.