Izzy: Greetings all you fakers and shakers.
Elsa: I think that the phrase is “movers and shakers”
Izzy: Movers doesn’t rhyme with shakers.
Elsa: But really, does it have to rhyme?
Izzy: Don’t they rhyme all the time?
Elsa: They don’t usually rhyme. Then again they don’t usually make sense either so…
Izzy: The only reason they don’t make sense is because you are dense.
Elsa: Are you planning on rhyming the entire show?
Izzy: Until we go.
Elsa: It’s going to ruin the flow.
Izzy: Don’t play with tools you don’t know how to use. Oh, you hoe…
Elsa: I wasn’t trying to rhyme.
Izzy: That’s because you aren’t so smart.
Elsa: You’ve insulted me twice already… and we haven’t even started the show yet.
Izzy: It’s going to be a great show!!
Elsa: Is it?
Izzy: It is going to be the best show we have ever done. That I promise you!!
Elsa: Well, you certainly have built it up a lot, so it better not disappoint.
Izzy: I PROMISE that this is going to be the best show… not just our show… but the best show in the history of shows.
Elsa: Even with the rhyming mishap during the intro!?
Izzy: That was just a bonus!
Elsa: So, go ahead…. You wanted the whole show to be a surprise, so … go ahead!
Izzy: Okay, so the first look is probably the best look we’ve ever had here on the Pawshion Police.
Elsa: Enough suspense already! Just show me!
Izzy: See what I mean!??
Elsa: Isn’t that you?
Izzy: Yes! But do you see what I mean!!?
Elsa; That is a very lovely dress, I love the color, of course.
Izzy: Yes, because pink is my signature color.
Elsa: Oh, is it?
Izzy: Yes, I’ve always said that pink is my favorite.
Elsa: That was actually me who said that, but okay.
Izzy: I think this beautiful Frenchie definitely has star quality. The clothes are amazing, but the dog herself is what really steals the show. The beautiful hat is the perfect accessory for the gorgeous gown.She could feel right at home when she has tea with the queen in this beautiful outfit. And that charm too, of course.
Elsa: Your hat is lovely.
Izzy: It’s amazing. Can we both agree that this look is a solid home run!
Izzy: Let’s just take a moment to look at this beauty.
Elsa: I’ve had my moment. Can we move on?
Izzy: If you insist. This next look is amazing too. You will have to agree that this next look is just as stunning as the first.
Elsa: That’s you again.
Izzy: Oh, is it?
Elsa: Yes. Yes, it is.
Izzy: I wonder how THAT happened.
Elsa: It’s such a mystery.
Izzy: Well, as long as the photo is here…. well, we might as well admire it.
Elsa: I do love this dress. It’s got such a sweet and simplistic design reminiscent of a by-gone era.
Izzy: I got laid in this dress.
Izzy: But it is a nice dress!!
Elsa: You look really nice in it too. I love your expression and your graceful neck. Looks like an Audrey Hepburn pose.
Izzy: I was just seeing who was checking out my ass.
Elsa: Well, that ruined it. Who was, by the way?
Elsa: Do we dare move onto our third look?
Izzy: Oh yes, you will love our third look too. I’m not really sure which has been my favorite, but this is definitely a contender.
Elsa: Oh, boy.
Elsa: How did I know that it was going to be another photo of you?
Izzy: I don’t know because you’re pretty stupid.
Elsa: You’re charming on top of being humble.
Izzy: And beautiful and nicely dressed.
Elsa: I’ll give you the nicely dressed part!
Izzy: I do look good, don’t I?
Elsa: Those pears are to die for!
Izzy: Literally? Like if I gave them to you would you leave and never bug me again?
Elsa: Wishful thinking, Izzy. But I do love your necklace. It is stunning!! Makes that short, stubby neck of yours look half-way decent.
Elsa: And your dress is amazing.
Izzy: Yes, yes, it is.
Elsa: Let me guess… You have a fourth look and it’s going to be a big surprise!
Izzy: As a matter of fact.
Elsa: Okay, let me see the next “fabulous” photo of you…. I have caught on to the theme here, you know.
Izzy: No, the next look is not me, actually. You know how we usually have three or so “hit” outfits where we share the best dressed guests?
Izzy: And how we usually end the show with a “miss.” You know, someone who is fashion-challenged. Someone who has no sense of style or taste. Someone who looks pretty darn terrible…..?
Izzy: I have the perfect “miss” for you today. It’s so hideous that you are going to laugh your butt off.
Elsa: Okay, well, let’s see it. I could use a break from “The Izzy Show” here.
Izzy: See!!??? Isn’t that the most ridiculous outfit you’ve ever seen? And the model… don’t get me started on her ears!
Izzy: I mean, “Hey lady… there’s a giant flower on your back.”
Elsa: That’s me.
Izzy: Oh, is it?
Elsa: Uh huh.
Izzy: I had no idea. I’m sorry.
Elsa: Uh huh.
Izzy: Well, everyone can have a miss now and then…
Elsa: Oh, that reminds me. I have a photo to show YOU. That is if you are done with your self-promotion.
Izzy: Never done with my self-promotion!
Elsa: Well, let’s take a tiny break from it because I have the perfect photo to end the show.
Izzy: Anything to get this awful look off the screen.
Elsa: Uh huh.
Izzy: So is this a hit or a miss?
Elsa: A BIG ole miss!
Elsa: You’re the one who posted it on Instagram!
Izzy: I might have had a little too much to drink that day.
Elsa: Day drinking will get you every time.
Izzy: I think I look good. Under the circumstances.
Elsa: You look good, huh?
Elsa: Your nips are showing!!
Izzy: Just two.
Elsa: That’s two too many!
Izzy: Like I said… a little too much to drink.
Elsa: Let this be a lesson to you.
Izzy: You give the public what they want…
Elsa: That’s the only lesson you learned from this photo.
Izzy: That and that I have very good taste in bikinis but I probably should hit the gym. Oh, and that I have crappy taste in friends.
Elsa: You know I love you, Izzy. Even with your relentless teasing.
Izzy: I sorta like you too. And I’m sorta sorry for teasing you. And I sorta think you have good fashion sense. It doesn’t come close to your taste in friends though. In that category you have impeccable taste.
Elsa: After this show I’m not sure we are friends.
Izzy: Love you, Elsa:
Elsa: Uh huh
Izzy and Elsa: Stay fabulous, Fashionitas.
Izzy: Yes, be nothing like Elsa.