Izzy: Greetings all you James Bonds and PeeWee Hermans.
Elsa: Is there a method to your madness or is your madness as random as usual?
Izzy: I’m not random. And in other news, I love being naked.
Elsa: Not random at all.
Izzy: Think about it for a minute. Close your eyes.
Elsa: You want me to think about you naked for a minute? No thank you.
Izzy: No. Think about James Bond.
Izzy: Not necessarily… but … okay just for a minute..
<10 minutes later>
Izzy: Now close your eyes.
Izzy: Now open them.
Izzy: Now close them.
Elsa: What’s the point of this?
Izzy: I just wanted to see if you would follow my orders. No, really, close your eyes.
Elsa: I think better with my eyes open, thank you very much.
Izzy: BOW TIES! I don’t have enough patience to wait for you to figure it out on your own.
Elsa: Oh. Bow ties?
Izzy: Yes. On James Bond and PeeWee Herman.
Elsa: I don’t know about you, but my James Bond was naked.
Izzy: My James Bond is ALWAYS naked… except for his bow tie. How about your PeeWee Herman?
Elsa: He’s fully clothed, Always.
Izzy: Yes! Usually mine is too.
Izzy: I like variety. Anyway, we have some amazing bow ties on today’s show.
Elsa: I prefer James Bond’s bow ties to Pee Wee Herman’s bow ties, by the way.
Izzy: I think you will have a new favorite when you see our first guest.
Elsa: Oh. My. Goodness. Yes!
Izzy: It’s pink, after-all.
Elsa: Not exactly a bow tie, but still elegant and chic and formal.
Izzy: I knew you’d love it. It’s pink. There’s bling.
Elsa: It’s tasteful.
Izzy: Since when has being tasteful been one of your goals?
Elsa: I should be saying that about you. You’re having fun teasing me today, aren’t you?
Izzy: Not just today!! I can think of no better way to spend a day.
Elsa: Is that so?
Izzy: Well, I can think of a couple of better ways but this is a family show.
Elsa: So… The sweater… the collar.. the leash… I’m in pink Heaven.
Izzy: This works, even though the pinks don’t match exactly
Elsa: Just like we work, even though we don’t match exactly.
Izzy: We go together like condoms and baby formula.
Elsa: Which am I?
Izzy: You’re… naw… that’s too easy.
Elsa: Easy? Like you?
Izzy: Oh, snap!
Elsa: So, back to the fashions. The reason this goes so well together is because, though they aren’t the same shade of pink, they are the same tone.
Izzy: Moving on… You liked this guest a lot…. Imma gonna like the next one a lot.
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Elsa: I can see why! He’s gorgeous! There just might be a fight for him… oh, that’s right… you’re married. Too bad. He’s all mine.
Izzy: Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I have to stop dating other men.
Elsa: Actually, I believe it does.
Izzy: I’d hate to live in your world.
Elsa: Doesn’t Gus look so intelligent? There is something about the combination of a bow tie and glasses that raises a man’s IQ by a million points.
Izzy: He is smart. Wearing a bow tie is smart. For instance, you can’t dribble soup on a bow tie, thus saving a lot on dry cleaning bills.
Elsa: Handsome, smart and frugal. Be still my heart.
Izzy: Since when do you want a frugal man?
Elsa: Since he is spending my future money.
Izzy: Let me steal your line… let’s talk about the fashion.
Elsa: I love the colorful tie against the neutral shirt. Is that enough?
Izzy: I guess.
Elsa: Good. Now let’s see if Gus is single…
Izzy: Talk about a plot twist… You’re the one trolling for men and I’m the one who is trying to keep you on track.
Elsa: It’s good to see your sensible side.
Izzy: Let’s not get carried away… I don’t want to get a reputation like that.
Elsa: No. Goodness, no. Would never want you to have a good reputation.
Izzy: At least we agree on something.
Izzy: A wood tie!!
Elsa: Yes, they are all the rage!
Izzy: Yes. And it can double as an eating utensil. That’s why they’re popular, you know.
Elsa: I doubt that’s true. Just like most of what comes out of your mouth.
Izzy: Hey… I speak the truth, mostly.
Elsa: Tell me truth about this… do you like this outfit?
Izzy: No. I LOVE this outfit.
Elsa: Well, so do I. I like the colors and the fact that the buttons mimic the color of the tie. I love the whole look.
Izzy: I love polka dots too.
Elsa: Do you love feathers?
Izzy: Random. Yes, mostly on birds, but yes. Unless of course, I’m eating the bird.
Elsa: Do you like round framed glasses?
Izzy: Well, sort of.. I guess… with the right outfit.
Elsa: How about hot pink and yellow together?
Izzy: Oh, I love that combination. Especially in a glass…. pink lemonade with a lemon wedge and a wee bit of vodka.
Elsa: Just a wee bit?
Izzy: Okay, a glass of vodka with a wee bit of lemon?
Elsa: You might be needing that vodka after you see our next look.
Izzy: I didn’t say that I loved all those things together!!
Izzy: Yes, please. Stat.
Elsa: If Miss Khloe loves fashion as her name would imply, why does she abuse it?
Izzy: So many things that are so obviously wrong here, but let’s start with the wig.
Elsa: Do you remember that show, Lazy Town?
Izzy: How OLD ARE you?
Elsa: Umm… reruns.
Izzy: Are you likening this wig to Stephanie on Lazy Town?
Elsa: So you’re familiar with the show? How OLD ARE you?
Izzy: Old enough to know better and too young to care.
Elsa: That was actually kind of a dumb show.
Izzy: But the wig lives on…. apparently.
Elsa: As does John Lennon’s glasses.
Izzy: John Lemon… with Vodka?
Elsa: Ha. Ha.
Izzy: The glasses looked cool ON John Lennon. Not so much here.
Elsa: How about that wonderful hat?
Izzy: I think that’s just a paper plate with a feather boa glued on top.
Elsa: You might be right.
Izzy: So, viewers, if you’re ever looking at your paper plate and thinking… that could make a great hat…. just don’t.
Elsa: Unless you’re five.
Izzy: If you’re five, you can wear a paper plate hat.
Elsa: Just …no feathers. Are we done making fun of our guest?
Izzy: Almost. We haven’t mentioned the lovely fabric of her dress.
Elsa: I think my grandma had wallpaper like that back in the 70’s.
Izzy: So you ARE old?
Izzy: Were cameras even invented back in your childhood?
Elsa: We’re the same age, Izzy.
Izzy: I know, but you’re so fun to tease.
Elsa: I think we’ll keep Khloe around…. you will certainly make fun of her instead of me, right?
Izzy: No promises. I have enough snarky comments for both of you.
Elsa: Now that your talons are aimed on me again, I think we will close the show.
Izzy: Just when it was getting fun.
Elsa: Save your insults for next week, okay?
Izzy: A whole week to come-up with new ways to insult you… sounds like a great plan.
Izzy and Elsa: Stay fabulous, fashionistas!